Response to Regretful “Mom”

Sorry it’s been a while – personal problems, always got them cropping up, some worse than others. Yes, even though I have no kids, I have a stressful life… go figure!? lol

Today, I am writing an open letter to THIS clearly regretful parent with too much time on her hands, worrying about what everyone else is doing; Regretful “Mom”

Dear Regretful “Mom”,

It’s worrying to me that all I can gather from your rambling is that you sorely regret how your life has turned out, that you are not happy with motherhood! There is just no way someone would be so offended and feel that the fact some humans call themselves their dog’s (or any other animal’s) mum “trivialises” the love you feel for something in YOUR life! Just because they are different species! I’m sorry if you regret your life, but you chose your life path, now just get on with it and leave other people alone!

You then go on to list 15 things you feel “hammer home” the fact that being a “dog owner” is WILDLY DIFFERENT to being a parent. Why though? I thought you had already acknowledged that we do actually know that the two are wildly different. Was this just to pad out your otherwise sparse blog!?

1. My daughter ages one damn year at a time, not seven. She’s not gonna be a sweet, deaf old girl by 13.

You don’t say!!! She will probably, however, be a spotty, angst ridden hormonal tween who screams “I hate you” on a daily basis! What’s your point here?


2. Sure, leashes have been adopted by parents. Now, I’m not about that, but I get it. Either way, I certainly can’t leave my kid tied to a pole outside of a store until I’ve finished my business (although I certainly wish I could sometimes).

Technically, you could!

3. I can’t drop my daughter off somewhere and pay to have someone bathe her, and, even if I could, it would definitely be frowned upon.

Is that something you wish you could do then? Are you jealous that dog owners can do that if they wish to? Again, I don’t get the point of stating this difference between dogs and kids. So what?

4. I can’t just keep her in the yard either. And I certainly can’t just leave her home with a wee-wee pad and a couple of bowls of food and water. Just forget about dropping her off at some kid hotel to be pampered and fed while I skip town for the weekend.

YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO A PET EITHER!!!! I thought you said you were an animal lover! Good pet parents (yes I said it) will have someone come in and feed and watch their animals.


5. I can’t write a Facebook post that includes a cuddly photo and a description of all of her positive attributes, and then advertise that she is in need of a new home because she doesn’t fit in my new apartment.

Again, you SHOULD NOT DO THIS TO A PET EITHER!!! You have no idea of proper pet care. I’m imagining you did this when your first kid came along. “Free to a good home” (never mind if you’re an animal abuser or just want my dog for her fur).


6. I can’t have her “fixed” to avoid unwanted early grandmahood.

That is a shame! It means it’s possible there will be more of your DNA passed on at some stage in the future!

7. I can’t stick her in a small bag under the seat in front of me on an airplane.

Okay. But can you keep her quiet please!!

8. I can’t breed her pretty little self and sell the offspring for a mint!

See, it sounds like you WANT to!!??

9. Clothes, shoes, underwear, socks, and so much more — it’s all required when parenting a child, and must be replaced with often alarming frequency.

Sorry to hear that, perhaps that’s one of your biggest regrets. You hadn’t realised how much money raising children would take!?


10. All of that “role model” stuff and the need to lead by example? It’s no joke. The weight of shaping the next Michelle Obama or Mae Jemison is all on me now.

And yet, statistically you will probably just raise nothing more than white collar workers, or even more welfare claimants!

11. Dealing with other parents is nothing like hanging out with friends at the local dog park. Nothing. 

Okay… perhaps you want to look into that. Find some other activities and some different potential friends.

12. Puberty. Enough said. Fingers crossed I come through that with at least some of my marbles.

Good luck with that! We’ll think of you whilst we’re cuddling up with our furbabies.


13. That $60,000 plus per year that parents need to come up with to somehow, someway send their kids to college? Try sleeping at night with that weight on your shoulders.

I don’t need to. I chose not to procreate – that is just one of many reasons! You chose to have kids, this is one of your responsibilities – enjoy! Also, you’re kind of repeating yourself, kids are expensive. We get it.

14. I will get to be a grandma. I will get to keep being challenged and held accountable for everything I say, do, and believe. She will make sure of it.

Nice assumption!! “I will get to be a grandma”… How do you know your little precious will even want kids? Perhaps she will decide to – GASP – have furbabies instead of human ones. lol  Think about it, because it’s getting more common to remain childfree as the years go by!

15. Silver lining: It will be my turn to harass her when I get old.

I get the impression someone like you already IS harassing her!! So it’ll be nothing new to her, she just won’t call or see you very often when she’s old enough to decide!


I’m guessing you regretted your invite to “weigh in in the comments”…

I am off to cuddle my adorable furbaby pussy cat now.


I hope you feel happier one day.


Regards, a Fur-Mummy