It’s been a while guys, I’m sorry. Damn bad health and stressful life. But there was an article by a guy called Gavin McInnes that has had everyone in the childfree community up in arms recently that got me back here to respond!! It’s titled;
Oh boy, this one!!! Where to even begin… For starters, he references that ridiculous advert where the guy goes around saying “I’ll never do this, I’ll never do that” and doing each one of them. Then he’s sprogged up at the end, sitting with his wife and kids, and says “I’m never letting go”, insinuating he’ll be running off with the hot secretary first chance he gets! (it’s an American advert, you can see it here; State Farm Ad.) I mean, everyone knows that advert is stupid. So we know his whole article will be stupid too.
I shall address his points which are bordering on deluded insanity one by one. I swear this guy has a bad case of baby brain…
1. Ew, Diapers? Gross
Do you wipe your own ass? This is the same thing, only much smaller. You’ll be surprised how un-gross changing diapers is. I knew our third would be our last, and each diaper change was getting closer to the last I would ever do. I coveted each chocolate-covered nutsack like I was the White House pastry chef, and when the last diaper went into the trash, I cried like a baby.
- It’s nothing like wiping our own arse, unless every time you poo you then sit in it for a while and it squidges down your legs and you then wipe it with your nose right above it getting a good old whiff and getting it all over your fingers. Even a lot of parents say changing them is gross. Also, you just called your baby’s testicles “chocolate covered nutsacks”. Everything else you say is invalid!!!!
2. I Hate Kids
No, you hate other people’s kids. We all do. These are your kids. They don’t just look like you, they are you. Have you noticed that, as you get older, your dad goes from cruel tyrant to just a wrinkled version of you? It’s the same with kids, but in reverse. If my son screws up a drawing, he rips it to pieces and hurls it into the garbage in a rage, where it lands next to the crumpled notes I just threw in there in a similar rage.
- Well we don’t know that until I try it do we. So… shall I just go ahead and have a kid to test it out?? You will take it if, like I imagine, it is actually all kids I hate and parenting turns out to be the hell I imagine it to be? Cool, thanks.
3. I Just Don’t See the Appeal
Do me a favor. Smell a baby’s breath and get back to me.
4. Only Egomaniacs Have Kids
“Are you so obsessed with yourself you need to make more of you?” a friend recently asked so I’d stop hassling him about being childless. You can phrase it any way you want, but the biological imperative is the most intrinsically human thing you can possibly do. It’s the meaning of life.
As far as it being selfish, trust me, you are way too busy running around praising, reprimanding, hugging, and giving time-outs to gloat at your prodigy. That’s something only the childless have time to think about.
- “Intrinsically human”, is that why the whole animal world does it too? Humans can opt out, and many choose to. I’m not sure why that matters to you! Oh boy, the whole “childFREE are selfish” line. That’s a tick on my bingo card! As I always say, ask a parent what is the most important thing in their life, they’ll say “my kids” or “my family”. Nobody else factors into it. They don’t care about anyone or anything else (unless that outside thing has an effect on them and theirs), which I would say is the very definition of “selfish”!!! It’s not something you “think about”, it’s something you are! And you wanna see gloating parents? Just check out Facebook, or STFU Parents!
5. I’m Too Selfish
This is the opposite of the egomaniac excuse, and it’s often followed by, “I can barely feed myself.” Don’t fret, virtue signalers. You will be able to summon the strength to prevent your child from starving to death. It’s an instinct that goes back at least a quarter of a million years. Besides, they scream so unbelievably loud at night, you can’t possibly ignore them.
After that, they learn to walk and develop incredible strategies to avoid being ignored, like growing big eyes and saying the darndest things such as “The Bob Marley has begun” and “Scientists say, when you read a book to love, you just fall apart.”
- I’m not selfish!! I actually care more about my non existent child than many care about theirs who are actually here on earth. I don’t want to pass on bad health, hereditary problems, subject them to a mother who suffers with mental health issues, is broke, lives in a small flat, isn’t married, can’t work and also has no patience and doesn’t like children or noise! I’m going against what society expects of me and taking flack for it – definitely not a selfish act!
6. The World Is Overpopulated
Er, I don’t know how to say this without sounding like a eugenics nut, but it’s about quality, not quantity. Yes, India has dead bodies floating down the river. Your local public school having yet another kid named Cody is not going to cause global warming.
These kinds of myths gain traction because of the death of math. We want to save all the kittens and rescue all the pups and kill all the babies, because we think there are a finite number of each. There are seven billion of us. Your gestures aren’t “thinking globally.” They’re not thinking at all. If you go on to the beach and wash one grain of sand, you’re not “doing your part.” You’re wasting your time. We live in the safest, healthiest, and most prosperous nation ever. If anyone should feel good about creating more people here, it’s you. And if you don’t, someone else will.
- Wow, you’re a eugenics nut… the ignorance just gets worse doesn’t it!! “Quality not quantity”? What a shame you didn’t elaborate on exactly what you mean by that! Yes I want to rescue all the kittens and puppies, but where did you get the idea that I want to kill babies? (apart from the fact I am pro-choice, which is a whole other topic). I see you’re speaking just for America there – you do realise there is a whole world out here, right? I live in London in the UK, and we are overpopulated! The world as a whole is overpopulated. We don’t need to start building on green and pleasant land just to fit in humans that people like you mass-created! I’m happy to let the idiots like yourself create people – coz guess what? When your kids grow up, I’ll be gone and nobody I love will be left here to worry about. So do what you want, once I check out I really don’t care what happens here anymore!
7. My Parents Were Horrible and I Don’t Want to Repeat That
Yeah, your lineage has been polluted by the crappy parent gene, and you’re doing the world a service by cutting it off. In fact, the opposite is true. My experience has been that the children of negligent parents know exactly how damaging that is and are the least likely to reproduce it (“my experience” is code for “white middle class” and is relevant here because that’s likely who is reading this article—sorry).
Have you been around the dads without dads? The biggest problem with them is they dote on their children too much.
- Please don’t tell damaged and traumatised people what to do! Let them live their life in a way that makes them happy, yeah? You come off as a complete arsehole here!
8. It’s No Big Deal If I Don’t
Really? How could it possibly be a bigger deal? Besides the part where our entire civilization is choosing to stop reproducing, what about you? Cavemen fought saber-toothed tigers. Your ancestors survived the plague. World war after world war went by, and your relatives made it through, and you’re going to throw that all away with a shrug? You’re ending that incredible journey through history because you like watching Netflix in the daytime?
- Of course, you’re totally right that all the childfree do is watch Netflix all day! None of us work. None of us have friends. None of us have hobbies. None of us have responsibilities. Only people with kids do, childfree people just sit around with our feet up day and night, that’s if we manage to get out of our bed where we lay around selfishly hour upon hour! Seriously though, sarcasm aside – my family line ends with me! I am my mother’s only child, even my cousins are not blood as my mum’ sister was adopted. My dad has four other kids by different women and is no longer in my life (yep, he was a breeder. I guess you’re impressed by that!?) and they all have one or two kids, so his family name is safe unfortunately! But none of this is going to change my mind!! I have solid reasons not to reproduce, and y’know what even if someone just doesn’t want to, that is reason enough too!!
9. It’s Too Expensive
So is eating out in New York if you do it wrong. You can have a dinner for $4 or you can have one for $400. Public school is free, and there are still plenty of areas where they’re just as good as private. Bicycles are cheap, toys are cheaper, second-hand clothes are everywhere, and kids don’t really care if they’re in an apartment or a mansion. College and piano lessons are all frills kids don’t require. In the ’70s, we didn’t have any of that stuff, and we loved it. Having a kid is exactly as expensive as you want it to be.
- Hey, now THAT changes things! All kids ever need are toys, bikes and piano lessons – oh and those petty things like school and clothes. But really, how expensive can all that stuff be? I honestly don’t know why people worry. Why on earth are there families living in poverty when it’s cheap as chips to keep kids happy and alive!? You need to go and tell those families how silly they’re being.
10. We’re Not Ready
Women are convinced they can cram a career in before their ovaries dry up, but did you notice you started menstruating at 14? Twenty-four is already ten years past that date. At 34, you’ve basically told your womb to pack it in. I’ve heard doctors get in trouble for saying this to their patients, but for the umpteenth time: The hour glass of your fertility turns upside down at 30, and five years later it’s all but drained.
Anecdotal evidence to the contrary is dangerous to cling to. I don’t know how many couples my age have realized it’s too late way after their best-before date and have spent tens of thousands of dollars attempting to reverse the clock. When they do manage to pull it off, they have to worry about health issues and autism, not to mention how brutal it is to get no sleep when you’re over 40.
Look, going out for dinner is fun and Barcelona is beautiful at this time of year, but eventually you close that chapter in your life and move on to the next one. That’s what I was trying to say in “The Death of Cool.” I’m not trying to take away the party years where you did whatever you wanted and traveled the world getting blackout drunk. Do that. However, adults recognize this is only a stage, and eventually you’re ready to move on to the next one. You’ve been a kid for decades now. It’s time to grow up and make some of your own.
- Oh boy!! The stereotypes are many in this bunch of nonsense. Lets give this a try;
- Are you trying to say that we should’ve had a kid at 14?? Or that it’s okay to do so? Coz, WOW! Also, I have friends who had kids at 40/41 who are healthy and happy, and so are the mums. So GTFO with your rubbish about 30 or even 35!
- Having kids older also means you’ve lived your life, had your fun and now can devote everything you have to being a good parent, forever! You will be more likely to PARENT your kids rather than try to be their “cool older friend” like so many do now. As for needing sleep, have you seen some teenagers still laying in their pit at 2pm?
- Oh God!! Yes, all we childfree do is party, take holidays non stop and get so drunk we don’t know what day it is most of the time. NOT!!!!! Please, someone end this damn stereotype. It’s annoying, and so very wrong. Believe it or not, a lot of childfree people are not actually rolling in money either. I know, amazing! Yes going clubbing and getting drunk was a phase. My phase lasted from about age 16 to 30 and I don’t regret a minute of it. My friends and I always stuck together, were responsible and never woke up anywhere but our own homes the next morning (or afternoon. lol). But the thought of a night out now I’m 40+ makes me shudder. Yes I’m childfree, but I have no money for holidays, I barely touch alcohol and I don’t remember the last night out I had.
- I’m not a “kid” mate. Having kids is not just a natural “phase” we reach, it’s something that is inside most women but it’s not inside us. We just don’t have that maternal instinct and wouldn’t you prefer that people feeling like that DON’T reproduce and become one of the bad parents whose kids grow up damaged? Just THINK about it!
I’m done here.