“I’M SO TIRED”, THINGS WOMEN WITH CHILDREN CAN’T TELL WOMEN WITHOUT THEM NOT TO SAY!I

The latest article I had major problems with was this; “I’M SO TIRED, THINGS WOMEN WITHOUT CHILDREN SHOULDN’T SAY TO WOMEN WITH THEM”

I thought mums were all played out with this type of post. But apparently not. Julia Austin apparently felt it necessary to give us all a list of things we are not allowed to say to those golden “Childed Ones”. The article itself is ‘click bait’, but I managed to get through the stupid slide-show, and here is my response. Julia luv, listen up!!! I’m going to assume YOU have kids (not much of a leap huh?) and will address my replies to you!

I’M SO SLEEP-DEPRIVED

You’re sleep deprived? At least your sleep schedule is determined by your ownschedule. A mom’s sleep schedule is determined by when her kids go to bed, when they wake up, and when they want breakfast at the crack of dawn. A mother’s work is never done.

Poor “mom”, remind me… did you CHOOSE this life or am I going crazy? Also, apart from the ridiculous notion that you can TELL other people what to say and what not to say, you need to keep in mind that that childfree person you’re yelling at might have a terminally ill relative they were up all night with, they might have been studying all night and had zero hours sleep, they might have been working a night shift, they might be ill themselves, they might have a very sick animal they were tending to all night (not that that would count in your eyes obviously!)… THEIR sleep schedule may well be determined by outside factors. Never assume because someone doesn’t have kids that they are free to do what they want when they want!

I’VE HAD NO TIME TO GO TO THE GYM

You probably haven’t had time to go to the gym because you’ve been too busy with work or simply haven’t felt like going. Your friend who is a mom has probably been too busy with kids to find time to exercise. The gym is a luxury for her.

1/ Who even SAYS this!??

2/ Why is being too busy for anything because of work any more preferable to being too busy because of having kids. In fact, your childfree friend has no time because she’s doing something she most likely doesn’t enjoy but is forced to do. You’re too busy because you’re doing something you chose to do and probably love doing!  And for either person it makes the gym a “luxury”.

Rubbish point!

YOU’RE GLAD YOU HAD KIDS, RIGHT?

Is that your way of asking if she would do things differently? Because um…the kids are sort of here now. There’s no going back at this point.

With your general attitude, you can’t blame her for asking! You definitely do NOT seem glad you had kids!!!

THE RESTAURANT IS NOT EXACTLY KID-FRIENDLY…

Well, then why did you choose such a place for dinner? Now she has to waste time and money looking for a babysitter! Way to make your mom and her little ones feel left out.

Hmmm, because it was HER event!?? And she does not have to change her life and interests to fit her childed friends! If you can’t go coz kids, don’t go. Politely say you can’t make it as you have no babysitter and ask if you can go somewhere kid-friendly next time so you can spend some time with your friend and not have to look for and pay for a babysitter. I’m sure she will oblige.

MY DOG DOES THE SAME THING

Oh, really? Your dog does? Then you must know exactly what it’s like to be a parent, right?

Wow you bitter moo… did she SAY it means she knows what being a parent is like? She’s trying to relate to you, to converse with you and be more on your wavelength. Feel flattered coz she’s trying to hold on to your failing friendship!!!

DINNER IS AT 9 P.M.

After putting her kids to sleep, your friend goes to bed at 9 p.m. So why are you setting up late times to hang out? That’s so cruel.

Here we go again… if you can’t go, don’t go!!! And perhaps she arranges things for 9pm because she works long hours and it’s the only time she can manage. The childfree are busy too sometimes believe it or not!

YOU NEED TO GET YOUR ROOTS DONE

Oh, right. Because she just forgot. She didn’t realize her roots had grown out. Nope. Good thing you said something because she has all the time in the world to go to the salon…

1/ Again, who the hell says this?? Julia, you’re making this up as you go along.

2/ No time.. bla bla bla… heard it all before.

3/ They’re called home dye kits! Try one, they’re a great invention and mean no trip to the salon. You need to get out more.

I’M GETTING VAJAZZLED

Don’t tell your mom friend, whose vagina was put through the wringer during childbirth, about how you’re decorating your lady business.

Okay, yes, got it! Don’t chat or gossip with your “mom friend”. It’s OUR fault your vag resembles the Blackwall Tunnel. (it’s an English thing, but you get the idea).

I NEVER TREAT MYSELF ANYMORE

That’s because you spent all your extra money on your nice apartment. Your mom friend, on the other hand, spent it all on diapers and groceries.

And there we are, the stereotype childfree person who has so much “extra money”, she doesn’t know what to do with it. Well y’know what, some of us have NO “extra money” to do ANYTHING with. You should think yourself lucky you do have some, even if it’s spent on nappies and food!

CAN’T YOU JUST GET A SITTER?

They don’t just appear out of thin air! Especially not good, trustworthy, honest ones.

So explain that to her – she probably  just doesn’t understand, being childfree. You don’t have to be rude, just tell how it really is and she’ll remember and not say it another time.

YOU’RE LUCKY! YOU DON’T HAVE TO GO TO WORK.

Your mom friend would be glad just to clock in at 9 a.m. and clock out at 5 p.m. like she used to, especially if motherhood worked like that. She doesn’t even get a clock anymore.

Wow, has it been THAT long since you went to work!? I don’t know anyone who does 9-5 like they should. I used to go into work at 7am just to try and shift some of the backlog. Other colleagues would stay a couple of hours late for the same reason. Then there’s the commute home; packed trains or buses, no seat even though you’ve been running around in the workplace all day and you’re close to dropping. Stuck in traffic or waiting for delayed or cancelled trains. Then when you get in, you have to do all the things a SAHM has done in the house during the daytime, you might finally sit down at about 10.30pm after a late dinner, have an hour to TRY to chill out, then you need to sleep because you have to do it ALL again tomorrow!

Please don’t talk to working people about your hard day!!!! (see, telling you what you’re not ‘allowed’ to say is being an ass isn’t it!?)

I HAVE NO TIME TO MYSELF

If your mom friend wants to be alone, she has to plan it with her equally busy partner or pay for a sitter.

And your childfree friend probably can’t even get time alone THAT easily! She has a job to go to everyday – or did you think she can just ring in and say she doesn’t fancy going in today!??

I FEEL LIKE EVERYBODY WANTS SOMETHING FROM ME

Don’t. Even.

Yeah, that’s how I feel!! The many different lifestyles your childfree friend might be leading, that may involve more people pulling her all ways than yours does! I can’t even be bothered to list them.

WHEN I HAVE KIDS…

Your plans sound fine and dandy now but know that all that goes out the window when the kids actually show up. You never know what you will do or how you will be until you actually become a parent.

But she can have plans and ideals. She’s not telling YOU what to do, she’s saying she likes to think she’d do it a particular way. What is wrong with you? Do you take everything personally or what?

You’ll never hear that from a woman who has chosen to never have kids anyway.

YOU CAN GET DRUNK BECAUSE YOU HAVE A BABYSITTER

Yeah, but…she also still has kids who will wake her up at 6 a.m. and scream all day when she’s hung-over. Plus, she has too many responsibilities to waste time trying to nurse a hangover.

She just wants you to chill a bit, stop talking about your kids the entire time on your night out and be the friend she’s missed so much!  I doubt there’s much chance of that though – in any way at all!

I’m surprised Julia has any friends left, in fact by now she probably hasn’t!!!

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