Sunday Screenshots

I have a confession, I’ve messed up with this blog. The last two Sunday Screenshots are deleted – it turns out you can’t just delete all the pics in your library on this site and they’ll stay in the posts. All those screenshots are gone!! So I’ve had to remove the blogs too!

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In light of that, I’m doing a special edition 2-part Screenshots this week. The first, today, is on the theme of parents who are offended by anything to do with pets – calling ourselves “pet parents”, “comparing” our pets to their sprogs, saying we love our animals like they love their kids etc. These particular parents bother me probably more than any other. WHY do they get so angry?

Lets get into it then, there’s a LOT to get through…

 

ss73

You “love your dog more than anything”? Yet you’re throwing him out of his family home for a baby who is not even here yet, because EXPENSIVE! If you can’t afford a dog and a baby, I highly doubt you can afford a baby on it’s own. Don’t pretend you care about that dog when you come out with it’s “ridiculous” to put dogs on pedestals. I bet you’ll be putting your potato on a pedestal when the little blighter is pushed into this God-forsaken world. I just hope that dog’s next owners actually DO love him, not YOUR kind of conditional “love”.

 

ss72

Nope – kids are not pets! I wouldn’t be that cruel, pets are way better! Cuter, cuddlier, more loyal, less messy… And here’s a shocker for you. We don’t believe having a pet is the same as having a baby. That’s why we have pets and not babies. Oh, unless you’re having a pop at infertile people. Because that’s the other scenario. What a lovely person you are!

 

ss71

My cat poos inside, we feed her a variety of food and as for partying – well yeah, we can leave a cat for a few hours. You chose to have kid instead of a pet, so stop whinging and get on with parenting it!

 

ss70

She’s saying she’s been called rude and dramatic for saying it’s offensive for someone to compare their dog to her kid. I’m inclined to agree – poor dog. Fancy being compared to a human child. Urgh! Cue the OTT declarations of “no love like a mother’s love”, bla bla bla.

 

ss69

I’m going to tell YOU a story! This tweet makes YOU look like the joke. It makes you seem like an animal-hating, over-dramatic weirdo. So you bored someone who doesn’t have kids with shit about your snot-rocket, and they didn’t know what to say. So in an attempt to say SOMETHING, they spoke about their dog. Well diddums! Perhaps don’t drone on about your kid next time, nobody cares, FELICIA!!!

 

ss68

And y’know what? FUCK YOU!!!! Fuck you up, down and sideways. You’re not special, your kid is not special, only you really give a shit about your damn mini me, just remember that. Literally NOBODY feels the same way you do about it!

 

ss67

I have no idea what this is all about. I’m sure a Prince would come before some snotty children. And to many people, so do dogs. So, perhaps it’s you who’s sick for not agreeing. lol

 

ss66

Are… are you seriously telling me what I’m not permitted to say? Who the hell are you? Some random parent with some huge superiority complex apparently.

 

ss65

You. are. not. the. boss. of. me!!!

 

ss64

Someone is in their feelings that there’s a Pet Parents Day!! There’s a lot of days I think are stupid – but I don’t feel the need to compose butthurt tweets about them. Dude needs to chill!

 

ss63

Another breeder telling me what I can’t say. Shove your Wednesday whine up your minge luv!

 

ss62

Hey random person on the internet. We are whatever the hell we want to call ourselves. Screw you, miserable moo!

 

ss61

Do kids answer that question then? Its usually rhetorical I thought. I’m more likely to get a defiant “meow” out of my cat, because y’know they can recognise the tone of voice and totally know they’re being naughty! Just another parent who knows nothing about animals!

 

ss59

“Pethood”… I love that! Though it sounds more like it’s related to the animal and not the pet parent. But it’s still cute. Well done parent! See, you DID do something useful today other than cleaning up baby sick and changing a nappy. I think you need that Prozac more than any pet parent though.

 

 

So many mamas pissed off that pet parents jokingly refer to themselves on Mother’s Day. They’re SO offended, like it takes away from their celebrations. How about get on with your Mother’s Day and stop concerning yourself with what others are doing?

 

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So this absolute delight decided to shame someone on Twitter who does a lot of good work and fundraising for animal charities, and was recognised for it. Bitch of the Year here is pissed that all she helps are animals – I mean Christians are apparently all about children, they’re not supposed to care about animals. Apparently!? This is a particularly vile message that I am so glad nobody responded to or even liked. So, bitch, maybe she does “dislie” kids, maybe she doesn’t. But she is clearly not selfish or she’d be spending her money on herself.  So take your disgusting, miserable self and change a stinking nappy!

 

ss55

They’re called reigns, and they’re for keeping kids close to their parents at all times whilst out and about. But, if you prefer your kids running feral and possibly getting knocked down by a lorry, then you do you. I’m sure that’d make you cry harder than seeing another person’s child on reigns.

 

ss54

Hey kid, respect your elders and be grateful they don’t have two screaming babies. You say #havesomekids – but they do. Two cute little poodles. I’m sure they prefer them to their sulky, bratty niece.

 

ss52

We realise that, we realise that, WE REALISE THAT!!! STFU!

 

ss49

If my cat said my name 3,258 times in a day, it’d be the cutest thing ever! If a kid did the same, I’d want to rip my ears off my head. So enjoy your hell, sweetheart.

 

ss33

She was “discussed”, the poor thing. This long ass essay can be said in one sentence; “Dogs came to the restaurant we were at, we think dogs are dirty and beneath us so we left in DISCUSSED”. I’m sure they all cheered after your fat ass had left!!

 

ss32

Oh no, a company marketing their product to someone other than parents with 2.4 kids. That’s just so… SAD!!! Oh get the hell over it!

 

ss34

A “mangy mutt”? “But yeah lets save some dogs”… You complete arsewipe!!! Child abus is rampant is it… you know what else is rampant? Fucking animal abuse!! And there are way less laws in place to prevent it. The video he’s referencing was a video about abandoning animals, the driver takes their child out to the middle of nowhere, dumps her there and drives off. It’s to say “you wouldn’t do this to your child, so don’t do it to an animal”. How anyone could do that to an innocent animal is WAY beyond my comprehension, I’ll be honest. And this douche-nozzle has decided it’s putting down child abuse, and making dogs seem to be equal to kids. I don’t know what words I have for him really. He is probably the type that would do that to a pet just because they got bored of the animal. Absolute. Piece. Of. Shit!!!!

 

The last one is a long chat on the same thread on Facebook. A bunch of mummies discussing the woes of those awful pet parents trying to muscle in on THEIR Mother’s Day. How it effects them, I have literally NO idea. But the crazy ranges from basic level right up to strait jacket level! Lets see;

ss36

The instigator is K. She doesn’t like people she doesn’t know and will never meet jokingly saying that Mother’s Day is also for them. It doesn’t hurt her at all in any way whatsoever, but she likes to feel superior and laugh at these people – who actually include infertile people. Because y’know, HAHA, she can make babies and store them in her womb! C comes in to disagree, but even she is just laughed at.

ss37

She doubles down on her superiority complex here with the old “you won’t know until you have BABIES” cliche. C is my favourite here, it’s like fighting an ever growing gang though. And M comes in at the end to be an out and out bitch!!! And in the process she tells adoptive parents they’re shit too. Nice one M.

ss38

And here we have the infertile friend, who has to be feeling a bit offended right now. But K still doesn’t back down. In fact, she is basically implying J should’ve gone down the long, expensive route of adopting a human child instead of pouring that love and maternal instinct into a dog who will give her nothing but unconditional love in return. Get over yourself K!!

ss39

Ah but I IDENTIFY as a mother. lol  And why do they think we consider it to be the same? Those of us who are childfree by choice and not because we can’t have kids, made a conscious choice to have an animal and not a baby. Because we prefer animals. And yes we can call ourselves mothers to those animals.

ss40

M agrees 100 (God I hate that 100 thing). C made a funny… I think. And she lets it bother her even though she’s childless herself. If that’s not fucking ridiculous, I don’t know what is.

ss41

Whew, calm down there K! Don’t blow a gasket girl. I am glad you’re there to tell us pet parents though that there are differences. I mean, I thought it was the same – all of us with furbabies did. Damn, K, you really opened my eyes! Thank you.

ss42

Well C darling, if that’s what you think owning a dog is all about then I’m just glad you don’t have one. I haven’t owned a dog – I’m a cat person, though I love all animals – but keeping them in a crate while you go pamper yourself is being neglectful and cruel. And you’re supposed to walk dogs more than once a day, not just let them in the back yard to do their business. Anyway, technically, you could keep your sprog in a cage and make him shit outside. I mean, CPS would want to know about it, but you still could. lol

 

This has been long, so I’ll wrap it up for the day.

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If anyone wants to send me any screenshots to include in my Sunday Screenshots, I’d love to receive your submissions. Please email them to me at Pinkocean08@yahoo.co.uk

Tomorrow for your pleasure will be Part 2 of Screenshots. Enjoy your Sunday evening, or whatever time it is in your part of the world.

 

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Wonders of Whisper

Ah, Whisper – the place to go and purge your soul under the cover of complete anonymity. And believe it or not, parents don’t just find time for Pinterest, Facebook, Twitter, and their parenting blogs, but also time to get on Whisper and share those little things they just can’t tell the people who know them and can see they’re called Susan Smith from Hertfordshire. Let’s have a look at some recent gems from parents on Whisper…

Wow!!! No wonder so many kids are spoilt brats these days. I had no siblings and barely had £50 spent on me at Christmas. And that was fine!

Interesting to see how parents REALLY feel after they’ve uploaded a million identical selfies with their kids grinning like Cheshire cats, and basked in the comments from random people they’ve never met. Very interesting!

He’s the daddy, you idiot! He is allowed to touch your baby!!

YOU’RE not ready?? The same as those mums who breastfeed until their child is five, saying the kid does it for comfort. WHO is it comforting exactly??

My advice would be to rewind – and not have kids!! Mental illness can not only affect parenting but can also be passed on! I have depression and anxiety and thank God I don’t have a child I’m passing that horrible experience on to.

Wow – super bitch here would prefer to be the one having to haul her arse out of bed and travel to a job so her partner can stay home with the kid. And have an ungrateful partner to return to at night who resents the fact she needs sleep to do it all again next day!!! Get out of bed and go see to the potato so your poor bloke can get some shut eye before work, you horrible woman!!!

What’s the big deal!? Maybe he just doesn’t want to because he’s hungry. Or maybe he doesn’t want kid drool, spit and sticky fingers all over his snack! Whatever way, lay off him and fix your kids some food for them!

Yes you’re a parent – a three year old is not going give a stuff about your depression! Again, thank God I don’t have kids!

Sooo… at what point did you realise he wasn’t going to stop taking drugs? Not before the first one, and apparently not before this pregnancy… have you worked it out yet? Will you stop letting him get you pregnant now? Might be a good idea to leave him before you’re saying the same about number three! 🙄

<<<<
"?? Well, perhaps he feels you can't actually afford it. Perhaps he feels you're not ready? Perhaps he just doesn't want any more! As half of the team who would create said child, he has every right to change his mind! Amazing you're so indignant that you take to Whisper to bitch about it rather than talking to, I dunno… your HUSBAND??

<<
m sorry, but you both have to be ready. Perhaps he can see the madness in you having another one so soon that you have to stay at home with. A one and a half year old and a newborn? Have you really thought this through, Carol?

<<
ey are!

<<
de!??? How old were you when you got pregnant?? 😦

25… SIX kids… STOP BREEDING!!! You’ll have 10 by the time you’re 30 at this rate! And you think you have free time? 😦

Raising your own child is not a job! No matter how much you like to think you’re a Chef, Nurse, Taxi Driver, Teacher etc etc…

When did you realise it was stressful? After the first? The second? The third? I mean, you had a chance to slow down, surely. You could be a mother of one or two. But you chose to be a stay at home mother of three! However hard it is though, you have no right to assume your life is harder than anyone else out there! Because believe it or not, there are people who have it worse than you!!

Well it’s bad!! But yes! Terminal illness, death of a parent or child, living on the streets, being in an abusive relationship you can’t escape from, being kidnapped, being raped… I suggest you grow up, Drama Queen. Going to be a mama soon!

…………………

Hope you’ve enjoyed a look into Whisper – Sunday Screenshots to follow tomorrow. Working on it today. 👍🏻👋🏻

10 Gross Things I Would NEVER Do!!

The post I’m responding to here seriously grossed me out. It made me want to remove my eyeballs so I didn’t have to see it anymore! Next best thing to do is write about it.

10 Gross Things Most Mums Do

1. Licking your child’s fingers clean

No wipes? No worries according to many mummas. Although, we don’t readily fess up to it, licking a little one’s finger’s clean when wipes are nowhere to be found it actually quite common.

Those fingers have been places where the sun don’t shine, places where Penicillin grows, they’re covered with remnants of lunch, their own spit and a little snot… but sure, lick those bad boys! 

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2. Getting OCD with the snot sucker…

…until you get every last bit out. God bless modern product design. It has brought us fancy, smell-snapping nappy machines and… the snot sucker. Yep, that’s right, mums everywhere can at last come to the rescue when a little one has a cold but can’t blow their nose themselves. But the plastic device is leading to new OCD heights as mums everywhere can’t rest until every. Last. Bit. Of. Snot. Is. Gone.

Honestly, I don’t even know how anyone could come up with an invention like this – much less get it patented and into stores! The way they describe themselves as “OCD” and want every bit gone (down their throats??) so badly sounds more like some kind of weird fetish. And quite honestly, makes licking the kid’s fingers seem like heaven! This is beyond gross!

3. “Showering” with baby wipes

Clean is clean, right? And sometimes you just don’t have time to take a shower. So, what’s the next best thing? Wipes. Not just good for speed cleaning bathrooms when you have guests coming over, they’re also good for speed cleaning mummas who are time poor.

This is just something I don’t get! I have friends who are mums, they are always impeccably clean, well groomed and well turned out. I’ve never seen any mum I know come out with stained clothing and smelling like they “showered” with baby wipes. What always baffles me about “time poor” mums is if time is really that much of a commodity, how do they keep up so well with their Facebook posts, mummy blogs and Pinterest boards? Surely, just forgo one of those ‘commitments’ and have a shower instead!? It’s a constant source of confusion to me.

 

4. Ignoring the yellow cloud in the bath

Speaking of getting clean, or more specifically, baths. If you’ve spent ages wiping down the tub, filling it up, getting the temp perfect and adding some form of organic-overpriced-bath-bubbles, you’re not about to let a little wee spoil the party moments after bub is in the tub. Turns out, most mums just look both ways and carry on.

So we have showering with baby wipes, and now when their bodies DO actually come into contact with water, it’s mixed with wee… and it’s all good! What I’m getting from this is that being a mum means being filthy. 

 

5. Going out with vomit/pee/spat-up food on your clothes (and sometimes in your hair)

When it’s dry it doesn’t count, does it? You’ve managed a shower, to do your make-up and put together an outfit your quite pleased with – and with little people at your feet. With moments to go until you make your way to the car it happens – and you’re left with the evidence on your face/hair/clothes. Time to change? You’re joking! A quick brush through of the hair, a spray of perfume or a 5-4-3-2-1, it’s dry. Ok then, out the door we go.

See above!! Again, spend less time on social media or your mummy blog and wash some clothes. I don’t know any mums that come out with dried crap on them… unless it happened en-route, that’s just life with kids I guess. But you don’t need to come out of your house like that!

 

6. Eating things kids have dropped on the floor

Waste not want not. It’s as simple as that.

WHY? WHY would you do that?

 

7. Testing if it’s poo or choc

What’s that on the floor/my pants/the carpet, you ask? A quick, gentle dip of the pinky into unknown substance and taste and voila, you’ll know. Poo or choc. It’s a 50/50.

Is this a sick joke? You have another sense that can help you here – it’s called smell! Poo has a very distinct smell, you do NOT need to taste that brown stuff! Disgusting!

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8. Reused an “otherwise clean” nappy

We’ve all been there. It’s bath time and the last nappy change wasn’t so long ago. “Oh look, it’s still (well, pretty much) clean I’d say…”

Sorry not sorry. Who wants to waste an otherwise clean one? They are so expensive! At least it wasn’t a little poop that you removed with a wet-one as it had barely soiled the nappy. *Looks off into the distance trying not to look guilty of the latter*

So, lets get this straight! You took your baby out of it’s nappy, put the baby in the bath and now you’re ready to take the baby out of the bath and re-dress baby. So you pick up the nappy you took off before the bath… you wipe SHIT off the nappy with a baby wipe, and you replace the nappy on the baby!? Bitch, someone is going to call CPS on your arse!  Is this REALLY  a thing?

 

9. Licked a dropped dummy clean

It happens. Child is crying. Uncontrollably. Dummy goes in and there’s peace in the world again. Child drops dummy on floor. Uncontrollable crying gets worse. No cleaning tools in sight. Give dummy a quick lick and good to go. Until kid drops dummy on the floor again.

Ugh, I see mums do this ALL. THE. TIME!! Can’t say it’s something I would do, but then my childfree mouth is probably all  full of cooties and wouldn’t be good enough anyway. 

 

10. Use spit as soap

It’s a perfectly legit cleaning method, correct? After all, it’s in “Grandma’s 101 Book of How to Get a Kid’s Face Clean”.

If you’re out in public and there’s no access to soap and water, then yeah okay. Otherwise, WASH YOUR CHILD!!! 

 

Man, the more I read from these parent types, the more glad I am to be childfree!!!

Responses to ’21 Things Not To Say To A Pregnant Woman’

Lets take a dive into the life of a grumpy pregnant woman. Maybe I can’t relate, having never been pregnant (phew), but some things this list covers just sound ridiculous to me. Presented with a preggers, I honestly have no idea what to talk about, and the likelihood of something she doesn’t like slipping out is high.

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But I can probably trump all of them with being asked “when is it due” when all I was carrying was my lunch and wearing a slightly clingy dress. So there preggers women, you cannot top that!

Here’s the link to the article: 21 Things Not To Say To A Pregnant Lady

Lets get into it;

1 “It’s a miracle isn’t it? To think that a baby’s head can fit through an opening that small”

I was just sick in my mouth a little bit.

The sort of thing someone who has never had babies will say – just trying to find something to say that will make you think they see this thing that happens millions of times all over the world daily as any kind of “miracle”!

 

2 “Are you worried it’ll get your nose?”

I wasn’t.

 

Okay – either they’re joking and your hormones won’t let you see it. Or they’re incredibly rude.

 

3 “Ooh, can I have a feel?!”

You already have your hand on my belly.

I seriously doubt this is happening! And if it is, it’s someone very very close to you.

 

4 “I can see you’re eating for two already …”

I have just spent sixteen weeks with my head down a toilet. What’s your excuse?

It’s just a phrase. They’re not being rude.

 

5 “For the love of God, don’t name it Barry!”

Well, I wasn’t planning to. She might get picked on at school.

That doesn’t get said. Nobody calls their baby Barry!

 

6 “Are you planning a drug free labour? Because that’s better for the baby you know. Also, my mum’s cousin’s next door neighbour’s sister knew a lady once who had an epidural and she NEVER. WALKED. AGAIN”.

Extremely constructive. Thank you.

Just someone trying to be helpful and getting a little carried away.

 

7 “I think you’re having a girl, because boys tend to be neat little contained bumps – whereas yours is just, well, more, sort of, well, you know – erm, kind of – everywhere”.

I already suspected my arse looked like the rear end of a rhino, but you’ve just confirmed it. Kindly sod off.

I don’t get being offended by a comment that is talking about your bump. That isn’t YOU, that’s your BABY!!! Like, I just don’t understand…

8 “I didn’t think you wanted kids.”

You’re absolutely right. You didn’t think.

Well we all know that Oops babies happen A LOT!!!

 

9 “Are you scared? You must be scared”.

Are you stupid? You must be stupid.

No, they’re not stupid, they’re horrified at the thought of having a human being you need to be responsible for for the next 18 years PLUS!  Not stupid at all.

 

10 “Are you likely to be induced? Because I was induced and it was THE WORST experience of my ENTIRE LIFE. I won’t go into too much detail, but what I will tell you is …”

[Proceeds to go into too much detail]. La la la … I’m not listening.

You have a tongue in your head, use it! Just interrupt and say “Please, can you not tell me, I’m nervous enough as it is”! It’s really that simple.

 

11 “Blimey, it took you long enough”

Are we talking about the actual act of love making here, or the fact my partner didn’t inseminate me by the bins outside the kebab shop, three hours after meeting? How do you know we haven’t spent the last six years trying for a baby, you naive virile brazen hussy?

I’m with the mum-to-be on this. Her uterus and her sex life with her partner are none of anybody else’s business, so kindly butt out!!

 

12 “You look ready to pop! Could it be twins? Are you sure? Those scan things aren’t always accurate you know. Maybe the doctors got the date wrong. I mean – what do they know anyway?”

More than you.

Again – what is the problem here? This person is saying you have a big baby bump. Congrats, you probably have a very healthy baby in there. Again, this is not calling you fat, because the bump contains another human being!? And this person is clearly REALLY excited about you having a baby.

 

13 “Well, I hope you have a better birth than mine. I never knew you could be in so much pain without dying”

A mixed blessing then.

 

Starting to repeat herself a bit now. Another comment about someone else’s experience of birth – thing she’ll find out when this bundle of whatever is here, is that mothers like to one-up each other with their birth stories. She will probably do this to another pregnant woman somewhere down the line!

 

14 “Should you be eating/drinking/lifting/thinking that?”

Absolutely not. You’re right. I am in fact ill and not pregnant. While we’re on the topic – should you be wearing that?

Concern for your unborn baby?? How DARE they! smh

 

15 “How much weight have you gained? Because I put on like, three and a half pounds with mine and I’ve never been able to get back into my size 6 skinny jeans”

I just spat in your quinoa salad.

 

Okay yeah, rude! Bragging bitch!

 

16 “You’re not going to find out the sex of the baby are you? Because that would be like opening your Christmas presents at Easter”

This is my baby and if I want to open him or her at Easter, then I bloody well will.

 

Sounds kind of rude, but I think it’s just someone wanting to talk about it and find out if she’s waiting or not. 

 

17 “Ha! You can kiss goodbye to any sleep for the next eighteen years”

I’ll tell you what you can kiss …

Literally just someone delivering the truth! I love my sleep – and I love that no screaming kid or crying baby will ever interrupt it. Bliss!

18 “Ooh, how long had you been trying for? I’m assuming this was planned. Was it planned?”

No, not planned. It’s just that my husband’s penis is so gargantuan it split the XXXL condom. It’s a burden really.

 

Intrusive and NOT okay!! Anyone asking this has zero social skills!

 

19 “Are you STILL pregnant?!”

I’m afraid so. I do apologise, I know what an inconvenience my swollen cankles, throbbing back and frequent trips to the loo must be for you. Feel free to ask me again in 7 minutes. I know you will.

Honestly, sometimes some women just seem to be preggers forever! I totally get someone saying this. Perhaps they’re anxious to meet your new addition too, that’s not something to get nasty over!

 

20 “You know breast is best, right?”

So we’ve reached that point in our relationship when we can openly discuss bosoms, have we? Excellent! Do yours have names too?

No… just NO!!! This is actually something I stand shoulder-to-shoulder with mothers about. No mum should be shamed for feeding their baby they way they choose. The whole ‘breast is best’ campaign is nonsense. I couldn’t be breast fed due to a rare metabolic disorder, I screamed the place down for three weeks apparently until I was diagnosed and given the correct formula, once on that I was the happiest baby ever. But seriously even if a mother just doesn’t like the sensation of breast feeding, as long as her baby is being fed, is thriving and happy, it is NOBODY else’s business what she is doing!!

 

21 “Let me be honest with you love – if it doesn’t hurt like hell then you have a bucket for a vagina”.

Well… I think that’s kind of a given!

 

So just a short one there while I compile posts for Screenshot Sunday.  Enjoy your childfree Friday night.

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I’m Back – Lets Review The “Cat in a Buggy” Story!

I’ve been neglectful. Life is happening all around me and I’ve kept wanting to get back here. I enjoy reviewing breeder nonsense, I enjoy the writing. So my blog is back in action.

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I’m going to cover something close to my heart – about a cat, I’m an animal lover and a “cat person”. You mess with cats or any animals, I get REALLY angry! Now a bit of digging around – hey I’m an Internet Super-Sleuth, lol – provided me with the background information to The Cat in the Buggy Incident!

A lady with severe mental health problems whose carer was unable to be with her that day, but usually goes everywhere with her, has this large 13 year old cat. 13 is old age for most cats. He’d been ill, not eating, being sick etc. She had to take her beloved cat to the vet. Easiest way is in a buggy/stroller. Only way to get where she needed to be was by bus! Incidentally, the cat was diagnosed with liver disease and may well not even be with us by this point!

Onto this bint’s response… please note, she’s not even the person this non-event happened to. She was an observer. Why didn’t she get up then? I think I know why she’d be backing up this idiot mama though…

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Ugh!!!

So, this is the dramatic headline:

“A mum was apparently told to make her child stand on a bus because a cat in a pram was taking up the last pushchair space.”

Oh my goodness me! Whatever will she do? Her argument here was because it was not a human baby in that pushchair, the poor lady who was probably having a hard enough time making that journey without her carer, should’ve taken the cat out, folded down the pushchair, sat the cat in her lap  (as if that would EVER work), and let mombie and her kid who looks about five years old and could easily stand until another seat became available, have the buggy space.

‘I just found it ridiculous that a cat in a pram would take priority over a child in a pram,’ Mia said.

Was the cat there first? Yes. Is the cat able to stand on a crowded bus, with liver disease and in his old age? No. Your little mombie comrade needs to alight and wait for the next bus! One way of describing it is that the pushchair is more like a wheelchair to that old, ill cat. I realise it’s hard for some people to find a iota of empathy for something of a different species to them, but she should’ve taken a minute and REALLY TRIED!!!

The facts never covered are that the cat lady did offer to move, this bint declined, and continued to huff and puff folding her pushchair up and holding onto her sprog. Something all mums did in my youth, before getting on the bus, with bags of shopping and often more than one child. They managed – but then they weren’t the entitlemoos we have “parenting” today!

You can just about see that innocent little cat, oblivious to the negative reactions to his presence, poor thing. And that kid who looks like he’ll be off to college soon, kipping it up in the pushchair!

Child 'forced to stand on bus as last pram space was taken by cat in buggy'

I’M TEAM CAT!!!

‘I told the driver there was a cat in the pram, not a baby and he just said that the lady had to fold the pram down or not get on – but he didn’t say much to be honest.’

Well done driver!! I don’t care if it was a sheep in that pushchair! The animal needed it to be transported, and was there first. End of discussion. Why should the fact he’s a cat make any difference? Bitch!

Mia said: ‘No matter which way you look at it, I just think it’s wrong that a cat has priority on the bus over the child.

Seriously, this girl is a bitch! Yes we can tell you hold very little regard for an innocent, ill animal on his way back from the vet’s. Would’ve suited you if the poor unwell lady had just wheeled the puss off the bus and got stranded! As long as the precious HUMAN baby and your new mombie pal could get in that space!

 

Seriously, why was this Mia person even getting involved? Just to get herself and her very confused looking baby in the papers? Nothing was heard of again from the actual woman who had to stand with her kid. Just this kid poking her nose in.

Unfortunately the bus company says they’re launching an investigation… I guess they have to say that, but their rules say animals apart from guide dogs have to be contained securely. So the cat lady was literally doing nothing wrong. Mia just hates animals!

Anyway, sorry if I rambled. I just wanted to highlight some of the things this girl said that I think were out of order! I don’t know what came of the lady and her sick cat, but I hope they are okay and that the cat is still with us. Love to them both! The best part about all this is that a good 95% of commenters have all been in support of this lady and her cat. That warmed my heart!

To close, I’ll leave you guys with a link to the follow up article, which explains this lady’s side of the story. I hope Mia feels disgusted with herself, though I doubt it.

Second Article

 

Response to Regretful “Mom”

Sorry it’s been a while – personal problems, always got them cropping up, some worse than others. Yes, even though I have no kids, I have a stressful life… go figure!? lol

Today, I am writing an open letter to THIS clearly regretful parent with too much time on her hands, worrying about what everyone else is doing; Regretful “Mom”

Dear Regretful “Mom”,

It’s worrying to me that all I can gather from your rambling is that you sorely regret how your life has turned out, that you are not happy with motherhood! There is just no way someone would be so offended and feel that the fact some humans call themselves their dog’s (or any other animal’s) mum “trivialises” the love you feel for something in YOUR life! Just because they are different species! I’m sorry if you regret your life, but you chose your life path, now just get on with it and leave other people alone!

You then go on to list 15 things you feel “hammer home” the fact that being a “dog owner” is WILDLY DIFFERENT to being a parent. Why though? I thought you had already acknowledged that we do actually know that the two are wildly different. Was this just to pad out your otherwise sparse blog!?

1. My daughter ages one damn year at a time, not seven. She’s not gonna be a sweet, deaf old girl by 13.

You don’t say!!! She will probably, however, be a spotty, angst ridden hormonal tween who screams “I hate you” on a daily basis! What’s your point here?

kevandperry1

2. Sure, leashes have been adopted by parents. Now, I’m not about that, but I get it. Either way, I certainly can’t leave my kid tied to a pole outside of a store until I’ve finished my business (although I certainly wish I could sometimes).

Technically, you could!

3. I can’t drop my daughter off somewhere and pay to have someone bathe her, and, even if I could, it would definitely be frowned upon.

Is that something you wish you could do then? Are you jealous that dog owners can do that if they wish to? Again, I don’t get the point of stating this difference between dogs and kids. So what?

4. I can’t just keep her in the yard either. And I certainly can’t just leave her home with a wee-wee pad and a couple of bowls of food and water. Just forget about dropping her off at some kid hotel to be pampered and fed while I skip town for the weekend.

YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO A PET EITHER!!!! I thought you said you were an animal lover! Good pet parents (yes I said it) will have someone come in and feed and watch their animals.

judging

5. I can’t write a Facebook post that includes a cuddly photo and a description of all of her positive attributes, and then advertise that she is in need of a new home because she doesn’t fit in my new apartment.

Again, you SHOULD NOT DO THIS TO A PET EITHER!!! You have no idea of proper pet care. I’m imagining you did this when your first kid came along. “Free to a good home” (never mind if you’re an animal abuser or just want my dog for her fur).

child-for-sale

6. I can’t have her “fixed” to avoid unwanted early grandmahood.

That is a shame! It means it’s possible there will be more of your DNA passed on at some stage in the future!

7. I can’t stick her in a small bag under the seat in front of me on an airplane.

Okay. But can you keep her quiet please!!

8. I can’t breed her pretty little self and sell the offspring for a mint!

See, it sounds like you WANT to!!??

9. Clothes, shoes, underwear, socks, and so much more — it’s all required when parenting a child, and must be replaced with often alarming frequency.

Sorry to hear that, perhaps that’s one of your biggest regrets. You hadn’t realised how much money raising children would take!?

expensive

10. All of that “role model” stuff and the need to lead by example? It’s no joke. The weight of shaping the next Michelle Obama or Mae Jemison is all on me now.

And yet, statistically you will probably just raise nothing more than white collar workers, or even more welfare claimants!

11. Dealing with other parents is nothing like hanging out with friends at the local dog park. Nothing. 

Okay… perhaps you want to look into that. Find some other activities and some different potential friends.

12. Puberty. Enough said. Fingers crossed I come through that with at least some of my marbles.

Good luck with that! We’ll think of you whilst we’re cuddling up with our furbabies.

dogbaby

13. That $60,000 plus per year that parents need to come up with to somehow, someway send their kids to college? Try sleeping at night with that weight on your shoulders.

I don’t need to. I chose not to procreate – that is just one of many reasons! You chose to have kids, this is one of your responsibilities – enjoy! Also, you’re kind of repeating yourself, kids are expensive. We get it.

14. I will get to be a grandma. I will get to keep being challenged and held accountable for everything I say, do, and believe. She will make sure of it.

Nice assumption!! “I will get to be a grandma”… How do you know your little precious will even want kids? Perhaps she will decide to – GASP – have furbabies instead of human ones. lol  Think about it, because it’s getting more common to remain childfree as the years go by!

15. Silver lining: It will be my turn to harass her when I get old.

I get the impression someone like you already IS harassing her!! So it’ll be nothing new to her, she just won’t call or see you very often when she’s old enough to decide!

take-care-of-you-when-youre-old

I’m guessing you regretted your invite to “weigh in in the comments”…

I am off to cuddle my adorable furbaby pussy cat now.

 

I hope you feel happier one day.

 

Regards, a Fur-Mummy

The Jillian Michaels “tired” Debacle

If you’ve not seen and read this going on this last week or so, you’ve probably been living under a rock. Jillian Michaels, a woman I’d never heard of – so any accusation of just wanting to rant on her wall because she’s a “celebrity”, are way off – and who I have since learnt is someone from the US version of The Biggest Loser, and now a “Fitness Guru”, posted this on her Facebook page:

so cute

And what followed was parent vs non parent all-out war!!!

This post appeared in the Home Feed of many childfree people, was shared amongst childfree groups, and we heaved a collective sigh at yet another condescending meme about how tired parents are compared to non parents. Okay, this one is not all out saying we don’t have the right to say we’re tired, or that we don’t know what tired is, but the patronising tone is there, the use of the word “cute” as a description for her pre-kid self who thought she was tired… it doesn’t take a brainiac to see what it’s implying. The childfree community began to write on Jillian’s public wall underneath the meme, including myself. I didn’t insult anyone, swear, use the words “breeders” or “brats” or worse… yet I found my comment featuring in a daddy’s butthurt article about it. Later it appeared in another. I guess I should feel flattered that out of those thousands of responses, my words stood out so much. Although, not so impressed that the second article used my name – I certainly wasn’t asked and I’m just glad my Facebook is locked down! Parents get damned nasty when hitting out at the childfree.

And that’s what happened… as the non parents left their comments, most of them just objecting to the tone of the meme without any actual insulting or offensive words, we were hit back at by the parenting community (who have an awful lot of time to waste on social media it would appear). We were accused of moaning over nothing, and that this meme was Jillian “literally comparing herself to herself”. It’s ironic really, because in the end, all you see is a bunch of parent keyboard warriors lashing out at a minority of childfree people, reveling in their strength in numbers, and generally coming across as immature and WAY more whiny and moany than we were!! Also, angry and pretty nasty. An example of some comments;

  • I bet you’re a real firecracker at parties.”
  • “Clearly someone’s parents didn’t think parenting was a big deal…”
  • “shut your fool mouth until you know what your talking about”
  • “Referring to the whiners droning on and on about how tired they are without kids btw haha”
  • “I honestly don’t know how you deal with so many sensitive, stupid people. So many took offense to this innocent meme and made it about them. Guess what assholes it’s not about you. Stop making everything about you!”
  • “Go cry me a river you poor sad whiny ass babies”
  • “She also also walked 10 miles to school each day, in the snow, barefoot, uphill, 8 times a day….ON TOP OF parenting 100 children, feeding 57368 animals, pruning 5279047 trees, and sleeping .35 seconds. Everyone, please applaud her for her hardship.” 
  • “Everyone has a story and hardships and we all get tired. End of story. Damn, get some therapy if this bothers you.”

That’s just a sample from some of the comments at the top of the never ending comment thread from parents to the actually quite FEW non parents who dared to comment and say they didn’t think the meme was hilarious. Most of these were amongst a ton of others attacking the same people. The gang mentality was strong, you have to worry about these people raising the future generations!!!

My favourite comment had to be this – which basically explained exactly WHY we got annoyed at this meme, because of pieces of work like THIS;

  • “I was once one of those neurotic assholes that thought I was tired as a singular person. LOL. Yah. Noooo lol. You definitely don’t know tired until you’re a parent. Plain and simple.”

Shut your pie-hole, Mummy Martyr! You’re part of the problem here!

After you read a few comments from childfree people about how the meme is patronising and we’re sick of this attitude from parents, all it is is just parents – mainly mamas – trying to out-clever each other’s comments with snark and sarcasm about those awful childfree people all over the comments being horrible to poor Jillian and being too sensitive. Comment. After. Comment!!! They don’t even see the stupidity or the irony of saying WE are the “whiny bitches”.

Then the articles started coming… Jillian Michaels is clearly milking all the publicity she can out of this “shit storm” as she calls it. Google’ Jillian Michaels, tired meme’ and you get at least two pages of links to boring articles about this.

She even posted a new separate thread linking one of the articles and started her minions off again!!!

Jillian Michaels won’t let it die…

Oh and just to add, this is the woman who has upset the childfree community before;

Jillian Michaels Thinks The Childfree are Selfish and Immature

And even the parents!!!

Jillian Michaels won’t do that to her body

So I hope you enjoyed your free publicity, Jillian. I guess a few more people know who the hell you are now. But I don’t think you can milk it anymore, sorry about that! Maybe try again in a year or so…

In the meantime, a few of the ranting mummies in the comments sarcastically suggested we make our own meme if we’re “so offended”. I just decided to add an extra part to the existing one. So here you go…

so cute

 

 

The April Fool’s Pregnancy Prank – It’s No More Offensive Than Anything Else Online!

April Fool’s Day came and went, and with it came the “Please don’t joke about being pregnant” memes and statuses everywhere you looked online!  It was hard to decide on a post to respond to here but I picked one eventually.

Finally I chose one that covers a few points; Please Don’t Pretend You’re Pregnant On April Fool’s Day

Now personally, I find April Fool’s Day to be a total bore. I’m not into practical jokes, I much prefer subtle humour, literal humour and that ever popular British brand of humour – sarcasm. However, some people love to pull pranks and that’s their prerogative. Nobody has the right to tell them not to do it!  As most people advise, if you don’t like something you see online, scroll past it! Hell, I see offensive stuff every day online but I let it go, because the things I get butthurt about are no more important than anyone else’s list of “things that offend”. If we all went around trying to tell people not to post things that offend us, the internet might as well be closed down!

closed internet

Lets go through the reasons people think you shouldn’t joke about being preggers on April Fool’s Day.

1 Don’t do it out of respect for your infertile friends and those who have lost a baby

I would think, rather than targeting those people making a lame joke which will probably last for less than 24 hours once this year, you should be making a plea to people with kids to post less photos and gushing statuses about their precious babies and children. That has to hurt way more than this once-a-year joke that might not even hit your timeline at all anyway! But you can’t do that. And you can’t tell people what not to joke about either.

2. You’ll be answering questions for days… Facebook won’t know you’re ‘just kidding’

“Facebook”?? Or do you mean our Facebook FRIENDS? I doubt Facebook itself is going to contact us giving us much congratulations. And if any of my Facebook friends believed a status I post on April Fool’s Day about suddenly being preggers, I would realise I had really overestimated their intelligence all this time!!

3.  When you’re actually pregnant, people won’t believe you

Because I made a joke one time five years back about being preggers on April 1st?? I really don’t think that will be much of a problem! I think they’d believe me. And if they didn’t, I’d just wait until I had a big old baby bump and shove that in their faces! Problem solved. Anyway, I’m childfree, so it’s never going to happen!

4.  Some friends will be hurt you didn’t tell them first

Then they’ll stop and think, ‘hang on, it’s 1st of April. Nice one SW, great joke!’

5.  You may break your mama’s heart

I’d break her heart if I said I WAS pregnant!!  If I thought it was true though, and wanted to play this joke on friends, I’d just tell her in advance “Hey mum, when I post that I’m preggers on April Fool’s Day, it’s just a joke okay!”. Again, problem solved!

6.  You may not have intended to be a jerk, but you have to have fertility etiquette

Do I? No but, really, DO I?? It’s just a joke! If you see it and don’t like it, scroll past. The internet is a harsh place, I get into online arguments all the time. Those people have NO etiquette. There was a time I was in an argument with a mama, and she decided to go onto my profile – that I have since made extremely secure and this couldn’t happen again – saved a load of photos of me, and then posted them back on the comment thread with insults about my appearance, other mamas chimed in and they all had a great old time ripping the sh*t out of me! (Great role models to their kids, and very mature mamas huh?) My point is, you will come across offensive things and very nasty people every day online. You cannot police what happens on the world wide web! 

Also, I’m sorry but what one person gets upset about is no more important than what someone else gets upset about! For you it’s seeing jokes about being pregnant… for someone else it’ll be jokes about “gingers” (yes okay, that is me. I had a hard time in my young days due to bullying about my hair colour, and “ginger” jokes hurt me even today, even when they’re not aimed at me) and for others it’ll be jokes about being too tall or short. Yet the only thing I see posted everywhere is “NEVER joke about being pregnant!” Who decided that is the worst thing ever to joke about?

battles

I read one article about this whole mountain-out-of-molehill that said “haven’t you ever wanted anything so much you wanted to cry”? Erm… well yeah. I’d love a home in the Seychelles, a lamborghini and to look like a supermodel! I’ll never achieve any of those things – so… don’t anyone post about their holiday homes, flashy cars or post selfies if you’re particularly beautiful! It was probably the lamest “don’t joke about being pregnant” arguments I’ve heard yet!

All this said, I actually do have sympathy for those who want children badly and are suffering with infertility. And yes I realise the pain of that is probably something a lot of people won’t properly understand as it’s a ‘you have to go through it to know’ type of hurting. But so are a LOT of other things, and just because it’s baby-related doesn’t give anyone special privileges to tell others what to do. I’m afraid parents and potential parents have become a little too used to being given special treatment.

Anyway,as I said, I find April Fool’s Day ridiculous, so I didn’t participate at all. However, I know many did, and that is their right. If you see something you don’t like, look away and scroll past. And then get on with your day! Like people do every day all over the world about many things they find hurtful online.

I promise, you will have an easier life that way!

Why Your Post P*ssed Off A LOT Of People…

It’s been a while guys, I’m sorry. Damn bad health and stressful life. But there was an article by a guy called Gavin McInnes that has had everyone in the childfree community up in arms recently that got me back here to respond!! It’s titled;

Why Your Top 10 Reasons For Not Having Kids Are Stupid

Oh boy, this one!!! Where to even begin… For starters, he references that ridiculous advert where the guy goes around saying “I’ll never do this, I’ll never do that” and doing each one of them. Then he’s sprogged up at the end, sitting with his wife and kids, and says “I’m never letting go”, insinuating he’ll be running off with the hot secretary first chance he gets! (it’s an American advert, you can see it here; State Farm Ad.) I mean, everyone knows that advert is stupid. So we know his whole article will be stupid too.

I shall address his points which are bordering on deluded insanity one by one. I swear this guy has a bad case of baby brain…

oh boy here we go

1. Ew, Diapers? Gross

Do you wipe your own ass? This is the same thing, only much smaller. You’ll be surprised how un-gross changing diapers is. I knew our third would be our last, and each diaper change was getting closer to the last I would ever do. I coveted each chocolate-covered nutsack like I was the White House pastry chef, and when the last diaper went into the trash, I cried like a baby.

  • It’s nothing like wiping our own arse, unless every time you poo you then sit in it for a while and it squidges down your legs and you then wipe it with your nose right above it getting a good old whiff and getting it all over your fingers. Even a lot of parents say changing them is gross. Also, you just called your baby’s testicles “chocolate covered nutsacks”. Everything else you say is invalid!!!!

2. I Hate Kids

No, you hate other people’s kids. We all do. These are your kids. They don’t just look like you, they are you. Have you noticed that, as you get older, your dad goes from cruel tyrant to just a wrinkled version of you? It’s the same with kids, but in reverse. If my son screws up a drawing, he rips it to pieces and hurls it into the garbage in a rage, where it lands next to the crumpled notes I just threw in there in a similar rage.

  • Well we don’t know that until I try it do we. So… shall I just go ahead and have a kid to test it out?? You will take it if, like I imagine, it is actually all kids I hate and parenting turns out to be the hell I imagine it to be? Cool, thanks.

3. I Just Don’t See the Appeal

Do me a favor. Smell a baby’s breath and get back to me.

Okay… done!  I’m getting back to you now. What next??

4. Only Egomaniacs Have Kids

“Are you so obsessed with yourself you need to make more of you?” a friend recently asked so I’d stop hassling him about being childless. You can phrase it any way you want, but the biological imperative is the most intrinsically human thing you can possibly do. It’s the meaning of life.

As far as it being selfish, trust me, you are way too busy running around praising, reprimanding, hugging, and giving time-outs to gloat at your prodigy. That’s something only the childless have time to think about.

  • “Intrinsically human”, is that why the whole animal world does it too? Humans can opt out, and many choose to. I’m not sure why that matters to you! Oh boy, the whole “childFREE are selfish” line. That’s a tick on my bingo card! As I always say, ask a parent what is the most important thing in their life, they’ll say “my kids” or “my family”. Nobody else factors into it. They don’t care about anyone or anything else (unless that outside thing has an effect on them and theirs), which I would say is the very definition of “selfish”!!! It’s not something you “think about”, it’s something you are! And you wanna see gloating parents? Just check out Facebook, or STFU Parents!

 

5. I’m Too Selfish

This is the opposite of the egomaniac excuse, and it’s often followed by, “I can barely feed myself.” Don’t fret, virtue signalers. You will be able to summon the strength to prevent your child from starving to death. It’s an instinct that goes back at least a quarter of a million years. Besides, they scream so unbelievably loud at night, you can’t possibly ignore them.

After that, they learn to walk and develop incredible strategies to avoid being ignored, like growing big eyes and saying the darndest things such as “The Bob Marley has begun” and “Scientists say, when you read a book to love, you just fall apart.”

  • I’m not selfish!! I actually care more about my non existent child than many care about theirs who are actually here on earth. I don’t want to pass on bad health, hereditary problems, subject them to a mother who suffers with mental health issues, is broke, lives in a small flat, isn’t married, can’t work and also has no patience and doesn’t like children or noise! I’m going against what society expects of me and taking flack for it – definitely not a selfish act!

6. The World Is Overpopulated

Er, I don’t know how to say this without sounding like a eugenics nut, but it’s about quality, not quantity. Yes, India has dead bodies floating down the river. Your local public school having yet another kid named Cody is not going to cause global warming.

These kinds of myths gain traction because of the death of math. We want to save all the kittens and rescue all the pups and kill all the babies, because we think there are a finite number of each. There are seven billion of us. Your gestures aren’t “thinking globally.” They’re not thinking at all. If you go on to the beach and wash one grain of sand, you’re not “doing your part.” You’re wasting your time. We live in the safest, healthiest, and most prosperous nation ever. If anyone should feel good about creating more people here, it’s you. And if you don’t, someone else will.

  • Wow, you’re a eugenics nut… the ignorance just gets worse doesn’t it!! “Quality not quantity”? What a shame you didn’t elaborate on exactly what you mean by that!  Yes I want to rescue all the kittens and puppies, but where did you get the idea that I want to kill babies? (apart from the fact I am pro-choice, which is a whole other topic). I see you’re speaking just for America there – you do realise there is a whole world out here, right? I live in London in the UK, and we are overpopulated! The world as a whole is overpopulated. We don’t need to start building on green and pleasant land just to fit in humans that people like you mass-created! I’m happy to let the idiots like yourself create people – coz guess what? When your kids grow up, I’ll be gone and nobody I love will be left here to worry about. So do what you want, once I check out I really don’t care what happens here anymore!

7. My Parents Were Horrible and I Don’t Want to Repeat That

Yeah, your lineage has been polluted by the crappy parent gene, and you’re doing the world a service by cutting it off. In fact, the opposite is true. My experience has been that the children of negligent parents know exactly how damaging that is and are the least likely to reproduce it (“my experience” is code for “white middle class” and is relevant here because that’s likely who is reading this article—sorry).

Have you been around the dads without dads? The biggest problem with them is they dote on their children too much.

  • Please don’t tell damaged and traumatised people what to do! Let them live their life in a way that makes them happy, yeah? You come off as a complete arsehole here!

8. It’s No Big Deal If I Don’t

Really? How could it possibly be a bigger deal? Besides the part where our entire civilization is choosing to stop reproducing, what about you? Cavemen fought saber-toothed tigers. Your ancestors survived the plague. World war after world war went by, and your relatives made it through, and you’re going to throw that all away with a shrug? You’re ending that incredible journey through history because you like watching Netflix in the daytime?

  • Of course, you’re totally right that all the childfree do is watch Netflix all day! None of us work. None of us have friends. None of us have hobbies. None of us have responsibilities. Only people with kids do, childfree people just sit around with our feet up day and night, that’s if we manage to get out of our bed where we lay around selfishly hour upon hour!  Seriously though, sarcasm aside – my family line ends with me! I am my mother’s only child, even my cousins are not blood as my mum’ sister was adopted. My dad has four other kids by different women and is no longer in my life (yep, he was a breeder. I guess you’re impressed by that!?) and they all have one or two kids, so his family name is safe unfortunately! But none of this is going to change my mind!! I have solid reasons not to reproduce, and y’know what even if someone just doesn’t want to, that is reason enough too!!

 

9. It’s Too Expensive

So is eating out in New York if you do it wrong. You can have a dinner for $4 or you can have one for $400. Public school is free, and there are still plenty of areas where they’re just as good as private. Bicycles are cheap, toys are cheaper, second-hand clothes are everywhere, and kids don’t really care if they’re in an apartment or a mansion. College and piano lessons are all frills kids don’t require. In the ’70s, we didn’t have any of that stuff, and we loved it. Having a kid is exactly as expensive as you want it to be.

  • Hey, now THAT changes things! All kids ever need are toys, bikes and piano lessons – oh and those petty things like school and clothes. But really, how expensive can all that stuff be? I honestly don’t know why people worry. Why on earth are there families living in poverty when it’s cheap as chips to keep kids happy and alive!? You need to go and tell those families how silly they’re being. 

 

10. We’re Not Ready

Women are convinced they can cram a career in before their ovaries dry up, but did you notice you started menstruating at 14? Twenty-four is already ten years past that date. At 34, you’ve basically told your womb to pack it in. I’ve heard doctors get in trouble for saying this to their patients, but for the umpteenth time: The hour glass of your fertility turns upside down at 30, and five years later it’s all but drained.

Anecdotal evidence to the contrary is dangerous to cling to. I don’t know how many couples my age have realized it’s too late way after their best-before date and have spent tens of thousands of dollars attempting to reverse the clock. When they do manage to pull it off, they have to worry about health issues and autism, not to mention how brutal it is to get no sleep when you’re over 40.

Look, going out for dinner is fun and Barcelona is beautiful at this time of year, but eventually you close that chapter in your life and move on to the next one. That’s what I was trying to say in “The Death of Cool.” I’m not trying to take away the party years where you did whatever you wanted and traveled the world getting blackout drunk. Do that.  However, adults recognize this is only a stage, and eventually you’re ready to move on to the next one. You’ve been a kid for decades now. It’s time to grow up and make some of your own.

  • Oh boy!! The stereotypes are many in this bunch of nonsense. Lets give this a try;
  1. Are you trying to say that we should’ve had a kid at 14?? Or that it’s okay to do so? Coz, WOW! Also, I have friends who had kids at 40/41 who are healthy and happy, and so are the mums. So GTFO with your rubbish about 30 or even 35!
  2. Having kids older also means you’ve lived your life, had your fun and now can devote everything you have to being a good parent, forever! You will be more likely to PARENT your kids rather than try to be their “cool older friend” like so many do now. As for needing sleep, have you seen some teenagers still laying in their pit at 2pm? 
  3. Oh God!! Yes, all we childfree do is party, take holidays non stop and get so drunk we don’t know what day it is most of the time. NOT!!!!! Please, someone end this damn stereotype. It’s annoying, and so very wrong. Believe it or not, a lot of childfree people are not actually rolling in money either. I know, amazing!  Yes going clubbing and getting drunk was a phase. My phase lasted from about age 16 to 30 and I don’t regret a minute of it. My friends and I always stuck together, were responsible and never woke up anywhere but our own homes the next morning (or afternoon. lol). But the thought of a night out now I’m 40+ makes me shudder. Yes I’m childfree, but I have no money for holidays, I barely touch alcohol and I don’t remember the last night out I had.
  4. I’m not a “kid” mate. Having kids is not just a natural “phase” we reach, it’s something that is inside most women but it’s not inside us. We just don’t have that maternal instinct and wouldn’t you prefer that people feeling like that DON’T reproduce and become one of the bad parents whose kids grow up damaged? Just THINK about it! 

I’m done here.

9 Things Your Toddler Does That Do Not Excuse You Being a Rude Biatch!!

So, the latest post to leave me open-mouthed was this one;

9 Things My Toddler Does That I’m No Longer Apologizing For

What gets me about this one is that it starts off fairly neutral, you think “okay, kind of get that”. And then she hits about point #4 and it’s like she’s getting more irate and angry, and she just ends up being a rude moo with no idea about basic social decency and no consideration for anyone around her. So, lets take a look at this mummy nobody wants to come across!!

1.       I’m not sorry she doesn’t want to say hello to you.

Sometimes my little girl refuses to say hello.  Sometimes she’s the complete opposite and she’ll greet everyone as we walk down the grocery aisle. In the instance that she doesn’t want to say hi and she hides behind my legs, that’s okay. Don’t take it personally. I’m not going to apologise for her feeling shy and vulnerable at that moment. I’m going to tell her it’s nice to say hi but if she doesn’t want to, she can wait until she is comfortable to do so.

With this one, I was like, yeah okay. I understand that. You don’t force a shy toddler to talk to someone if they really don’t want to. I was a shy child, and if I was hiding behind my mother’s legs I really wouldn’t have responded too well to her prising me away and forcing me to engage with a stranger.

2.       I’m not sorry she pushed in line.

My little girl does kindergym and this often involves children doing set activities in a particular order. These kids are all a bit older and understand the concept of ‘waiting your turn’. Well, my little girl and I are still working on that. If she pushes in, she didn’t do it to “get in first’ – she simply didn’t see your child there waiting. She saw the equipment and wanted to play on it. Yes, I’ll gently move her off, point to the waiting child and explain it to her again and again. But she didn’t mean it or do it with intent. If your five year old has a tantrum because their turn was delayed by 10 seconds, remind them they were two once as well.

Yeah, kind of lost my understanding a bit on this. You DO have to apologise for this. You just know when HER child is 5 (is that a magical age when all kids should know how to conduct themselves in public), and has a meltdown because a kid jumped ahead of her in a queue, she’ll be demanding an apology from the kid’s mother!

3.       I’m not sorry she wants my attention when you’re talking to me.

I am everything to my little girl. If she does something she is proud of, she wants to tell me. If she hurts herself, she was to show me. She doesn’t understand that grown ups are talking and she should patiently wait to tell me about a bug she saw in the grass. Sometimes I’ll ask her to wait, other times I won’t. I want to listen to her story and I want to be present for her in that moment. I’m not always going to be her everything, so while I am, I am going to make the most of it.

Yeah, no, sorry!! I’ve had this happen way too many times when I’m with friends. If the kid hurts itself, or gets into something it shouldn’t, yes of course mum has to stop the conversation to go and see to the kid. But, if she wants to show mummy a bug… tell her to wait!! She’s not going to hit her teens and hate you just yet!!

4.       I’m not sorry she accidently bumped into your child.

My little girl is a tough nut. If she accidently bumps into someone, she’ll dust herself off and continue on as if nothing happened. Sometimes, the other child isn’t so tough and that little bump or bruise they’ve just copped results in a display suitable for someone being hit by a car. Seriously. I’m not apologising if my 12kg little girl accidently knocks into a child older and bigger than her. Those kids just have to harden up!

Now she’s starting to lose the plot a bit. You can almost see the steam starting to come out of her ears as she thinks of occasions when her little darling has done something and she’s been expected to apologise, and she’s thought NO – I WILL NOT!!!! lol  

So, listen up other mums. Your children just have to change their character and strength to fit in with this woman’s kid! It’s just the way it has to be I’m afraid. Your kids just have to get tough! (What a cow).

5.       I’m not sorry I’m taking up the footpath.

Yes I have a pram. Inside that pram, I have a 13 week old and next to that pram is my two year old walking as fast as her little legs can go. That pram is packed to brim with every ‘in case of emergency’ item you can think of. It’s safe to say, I’m not moving off that footpath with a load that’s already hard enough to push.

Of course I’d move for the elderly, disabled or anyone who clearly needed the footpath more than myself, but if you’re a fully able 17 year old girl who scoffs as you have to step on the grass to walk around us. Tough.

Oh dear!! She started out so well… and now she’s just lost me completely. This is just a case of social ettiquette. Don’t take up a whole pavement! If it’s a narrow path, okay I get your point, but otherwise, on an average street, just move a bit. Some people are in a hurry; running for a bus or train, late for work, rushing to hospital to see a sick relative… just have some consideration and move a little to the side!  And just a tip, you really don’t need to bring that much baby stuff just to go to the shops. Lighten your load a bit, and you CAN move out of the way with no excuses! 

And you just know a teenage girl has tutted as she’s had to go in the road to get round her at some point. lol  On that note, I would just like to add, you NEVER know if someone is “fully able” just from how old they look!!!

6.       I’m not sorry she gets dirty.

Yes, I let my daughter play outside. Yes, she does get incredibly dirty. She’s often covered in dog slobber, dirt and probably has horse poo in her shoes. That’s life at my house. If your child comes over to play and they don’t like the dirt and scream when she comes close – I’m not apologising. You can just hop back in your car and bugger off.

Your house sounds disgusting, and I doubt anyone wants to come and visit you with that attitude!!

7.       I’m not sorry that she stopped in front of you when you were walking

I hated children at the shopping centre before I had my own. I would wonder why their parents couldn’t just keep them in line and stop them from walking in front of me or stopping in my way. Now I’ve got two, I feel their pain.

If my little girl happens to stumble in your way, or stop to point to her shoe and tell me about it. Deal with it. She doesn’t know you’re there and she doesn’t care. Personally, I don’t care that you’re there either. Walk around us. It’s not hard.

Nope!! One of my pet peeves is kids wandering in front of me, or just stopping without warning. You know if I ram into them, the mother is going to mouth off at me! 

Also, fantastic attitude lady! You don’t care people are around you. All you care about is you and yours. People like you are a large part of what is wrong in this world. If you don’t care about anyone else, why do you expect them to give a toss about you? I’ll just keep walking in a straight line, your kid will have to get out of my way. I DON’T CARE that she’s there!!! How does that sound to you?!

8.       I’m not sorry she doesn’t share well.

My girl’s definition of sharing is playing ‘next to’ another child. If she see’s something she wants, she’ll try take it. She adores playing with other children, but she is two. Two year olds are all about themselves. I am teaching her that sharing is the right thing to do and it can be rewarding to do so, but she doesn’t agree with me yet. And to be honest, all the kids she plays with does the same to her. I’d rather her snatch a toy off someone who has snatched it off her then be a doormat.

Wow! I would love to check in to this woman’s life in about 12 years’ time and see exactly what sort of human she’s raised. So… you’re happy she’s snatched another kid’s toy (you’ll just assume that the kid snatched it from her initially), and you’ll teach her that she doesn’t need to give it back or say sorry. YOU won’t say sorry. Nobody says sorry. You’re teaching this kid that nothing she does is her fault and she need not take responsibility or feel remorse about anything. 

Great job parenting!

9.       I’m not sorry for not saying sorry.

My little girl is getting older and she needs to know that I’ve got her back. I’m no longer apologising and making her feel bad in instances where she hasn’t really and truthfully done the wrong thing. I’m giving her space to grow and live and if that means hurting some feelings along the way, so be it.

So really, that was just 8 things your kid does that you’re not saying sorry for. Now you’re telling us you’re not sorry for not saying sorry!? I think you’re getting confused luv. 

Your version of her “not really and truthfully doing the wrong thing” is nobody else’s version. Yes there are things she’ll do because she’s two years old, but she needs to learn that’s not the right way to do things and she needs to know that and apologise or hear her MUM apologise.

As for the last sentence… This woman shouldn’t be a mother! As long as she and her kid are okay, no matter anyone is hurt along the way. That’s basically it in a nutshell really. I cringe to think what that two year old will be like when she’s an adult!

This whole mess is like a tutorial of how NOT to parent your kid! Vile woman!